The ECG Blog
Postpartum: You Are Not Alone
You knew it would be a big change, but still feel blindsided by the postpartum emotional rollercoaster.
You may feel guilt for not enjoying as much of what you thought was supposed to be a happy time. Your expectations have not met reality. You love your baby and want the world for them, but you’re wondering where is the “instant” special connection with your child that you’ve heard others talk about.
Questions are running through your mind like, “Is it ever going to get better?” or “Do I have what it takes to become a ‘good’ parent?” Some of what you’ve heard about Postpartum Depression is disturbing and scary.
When your doctor asks you if you’re having any symptoms of Postpartum Depression, you don’t know how to describe your experience, or you wave it away. You may have told friends or family how you were feeling and they didn’t respond the way you hoped.
You’re stuck inside all of the time, your schedule is hijacked, and you don’t know what to do.
Why is it that after you’ve become a parent, you feel so alone?
It's normal to grieve the life you had before children and to have difficulty adjusting to your new routine and dynamic with your partner. Feeling that you need time for yourself to focus on your interests and ambitions is normal too. There is no right way to navigate this phase and it is an act of self- compassion to seek support to help you get through it.
Everything you are doing is hard but incredible. In a safe and confidential environment we can work on expressing your raw feelings, letting go of expectations that are leaving you feeling trapped, cope with anxiety, and help you embrace your idea and lifestyle of the person and parent that you want to be. With compassionate and judgment free therapy, we can help you feel stable and step off the rollercoaster.
For those feeling alone and scared
You aren’t “crazy.” Although, feeling like you do, or being misunderstood can certainly make you feel that way. Struggling mentally during this time doesn’t mean you will feel like this forever. It also doesn’t mean you are destined to be a bad mom, that you’ll “lose control,” or that you will do something bad.
For those consumed with guilt
It’s okay if you’re ready for your maternity leave to be over, if you don’t miss your child all the time, or if you feel a sense of relief when you get a break. It’s okay if you still wish your miscarried child was born even after you delivered another baby. None of this makes you a bad parent. You are a person too and it’s okay to think of yourself that way.
For those with crippling fear and anxiety
Your instincts are on fire. You care so much that you’re terrified of anything bad that could happen. It can take time to feel like someone else can care for your baby or trust that they will be okay, but you don’t have to carry all of that fear alone or forever.
For those who I didn’t describe
Whether you are happy, you are angry, you aren’t a “traditional” mom or parent; you are a hero. You are embarking on one of the most important journeys or raising a human being. I’m sorry if I did not capture your experience, but know that your experience is valid and worth being heard, understood, and represented. Postpartum depression does not have to be contingent on being the one giving birth, so know that you may feel this way even if you are not a parent or mother who has given birth to your child.