Social Media vs. Reality: How to Stop Comparing Yourself Online — College Students in Charleston, South Carolina

Let’s be real. Opening your TikTok or Instagram seems to start out so well… but often leaves you feeling badly about ourself. It can feel like stepping into a perfectly curated highlight reel of everyone else's life, while you're wearing yesterday’s sweatpants and surviving off ramen. Meanwhile, someone else is posting from a boat party off the Charleston harbor, announcing a new internship, or sharing dreamy couple pics in front of the Eiffel Tower! Suddenly, you’re spiraling: “Why am I not doing more? Why don’t I look like that? What’s wrong with me? How am I going to afford that new serum!?”

If you’ve ever felt that wave of comparison while scrolling, you're far from alone. At Ethredge Counseling Group here in Charleston, we work with tons of young adults and college students facing the mental health effects of constant online comparison.

Spoiler alert: it’s not just you, and you’re not weak for feeling it. Social media is designed to grab your attention, and sometimes your self-worth, too!!

In this post, we’re diving into how to take your power back and stop letting Instagram, TikTok, or Snapchat mess with your head.

Why Comparison Hurts (Especially in College)

College is already a season of massive change. You’re trying to figure out who you are, what you want, and how to balance academics, relationships, and life goals. So when social media bombards you with perfectly filtered images of people who seem to have it all together, it hits hard.

Social comparison isn’t new, but social media has taken it to another level. The curated nature of online life creates an illusion that everyone else is succeeding faster, looking better, and living more fully than you are (Seriously, how come everything just works out for her all the time?!) And when your mental health is already a little fragile (ie exams, student loans, roommate drama), the impact can be staggering.

Highlight Reel vs. Real Life

The truth? For every polished selfie, there are 10 outtakes. For every post about a job offer, there were probably weeks or months of rejection emails. That blissful couple? They might have argued right before hitting record.

Real life is messy, unpredictable, and full of ups and downs. But on social media, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind because everyone else only shows their “best of” moments.

Remember: Comparison is the thief of joy. Especially when you’re comparing someone’s highlight reel to your “behind-the-scenes”.

How Social Media Impacts Your Mental Health

Research shows that frequent social media use is linked to:

• Increased anxiety and depression

• Lower self-esteem

• Body image issues

• Disrupted sleep

• Loneliness and FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

Charleston students we work with often tell us they feel pressure to keep up socially, academically, and even aesthetically, because of what they see online. It’s exhausting. But here’s the good news: you can break the cycle.

6 Strategies to Stop Comparing and Start Thriving

1. Curate Your Feed

Unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel less-than, even if it’s someone you know. Follow people who inspire you, uplift you, or show up with honesty and vulnerability.

Your feed should support your mental health, not sabotage it!

2. Limit Your Scroll Time

Set app limits or use screen time trackers to reduce endless scrolling. Try designating tech free times, like during meals, before bed, or while studying.

Bonus: your focus, appearance, and sleep will probably improve, too!!!

3. Practice Reality Checks

When you catch yourself comparing, pause and remind yourself: “I’m seeing their best moment. I don’t know what’s really going on in their life.”

Try this trick: swap judgment for curiosity. Instead of “Why don’t I have that life?” ask, “What do I actually value and want in my life?”

4. Reconnect with Real Life

Go outside. Call a friend. Explore Charleston’s beautiful parks, beaches, and cafes. When you’re immersed in real world experiences, you stop living through a screen, and start feeling more grounded and connected. (Yes, I literally just told you to go touch grass!)

5. Celebrate Your Wins (Big or Small)

Whether you passed a quiz, made it to class on time, or just remembered to drink water today (oops that’s me)… acknowledge it. Progress doesn’t always look like an Instagram worthy achievement. It often looks like showing up for yourself in small, consistent ways.

6. Talk to Someone Who Gets It

You don’t have to navigate this alone. If social media comparison is affecting your confidence, motivation, or relationships, talking to a therapist can make a huge difference.

Why Therapy Helps

At Ethredge Counseling Group, we work with college students across Charleston, including those at the College of Charleston ( CofC ), MUSC, and Trident Tech, who are tired of feeling like they’re never enough.

Together, we help you:

• Build self-awareness around your comparison triggers

• Strengthen your sense of identity outside of social media

• Develop confidence rooted in your values and goals

• Set healthier boundaries with your time, attention, and relationships

You deserve to feel good about your life, even if it doesn’t look “perfect” online.

You’re Already Enough

Here’s a radical reminder: you are already worthy.

Not because of how you look, what you’ve achieved, or how your life appears on a screen, but because of who you are.

Your worth isn’t up for debate. And you don’t need to prove it with likes and followers.

So take a deep breath. Log off if you need to. And remember that the best parts of your life probably aren’t happening on social media, they’re happening right here, in real time.

If you're ready to stop comparing and start feeling more confident in your real life, our therapists in Charleston are here for you.

You don’t have to scroll your way to self-worth. Let’s build it together.

How to Set Boundaries with Roommates, Friends, and Professors (Without Feeling Guilty!)

Boundaries. That word alone can make your stomach twist, right? If you’re a college student or young adult, chances are you’ve run into situations where you wanted to say no, but didn’t. Maybe it was a roommate who kept borrowing your clothes, a friend who keeps unloading her problems at 2 a.m. (!!), or a professor who expected more than your schedule could realistically allow.

At Ethredge Counseling Group, we hear this all the time: “I know I need boundaries, but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

The guilt is real.

But here’s the thing, boundaries aren’t mean! They’re actually the foundation of healthy, respectful relationships. In fact, at ECG, we believe clear is actually kind!

Let’s break down how to set boundaries with people in your life, without carrying a ton of guilt or second guessing yourself.

What Are Boundaries, Really?

Boundaries are the limits you set for yourself to protect your time, energy, mental health, and personal space. Think of them like invisible fences. They’re not walls to keep people out, but guidelines for how others can interact with you in ways that feel safe and respectful.

Without boundaries, relationships tend to get confusing, overwhelming, or even harmful. When you're juggling school, a social life, work, and your own wellbeing? Boundaries aren’t just a good idea, they’re a necessity.

The Guilt Trap: Why Setting Boundaries Feels So Hard

Let’s be honest. Many of us were raised to be accommodating, “nice”, agreeable, or even self sacrificing. Saying “no” can feel selfish when you’re just starting out on your boundaries journey. You might worry people will get mad, pull away, or think you’re difficult. (Again, that’s a very normal feeling when you are just starting to learn healthy communication skills!)

Here’s the truth: people who care about you will respect your boundaries. The ones who don’t? That says more about them than it does about you. They may need a little time to adjust to your new boundaries, and if they can’t adjust, that may give you some good information about the future of that relationship.

Setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away or being mean. It’s about protecting your energy so you can show up for your life, your goals, and your relationships in a healthier and happier way.

Boundaries with Roommates: Your Space, Your Sanity

Living with someone, especially someone you didn’t know well before college, can be tricky. Little things like shared spaces, guests, noise, and cleanliness can cause big tension without clear expectations.

Try this:

• Set up a “roommate meeting” early on (and even monthly!). Talk about preferences for sleep schedules, guests, chores, and alone time.

• Be direct but respectful: “Hey, I’ve been having a hard time sleeping when there’s noise after midnight. Can we figure out a quiet time that works for both of us?”

• Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory: “I feel overwhelmed when the kitchen is left messy, and it makes it hard for me to focus. Can we work out a cleanup routine?”

Roommate boundaries aren’t about being picky, they’re about protecting your long term peace and fostering mutual respect.

Boundaries with Friends: Saying No Without Losing the Friendship

Friendship is supposed to feel mutually supportive, not draining. But sometimes, especially in college, you may find yourself in dynamics where you’re the default problem solver, the one always saying yes, or the one avoiding hard conversations.

Here’s how to shift that:

• Be honest: “I love being here for you, but I’m feeling emotionally overwhelmed right now. Can we talk later when I have more energy to listen?”

• Don’t over explain. A simple “I won’t be able to make it tonight, but I hope it’s fun! Let’s hang out next week!” is totally enough.

• Watch for one-sided friendships. If someone consistently crosses your boundaries or gets upset when you express your needs, that might be a red flag.

Healthy friendships can survive boundaries, and often get stronger because of them.

Boundaries with Professors: Advocating for Yourself Academically

Professors might seem intimidating, but they’re human, too! While it’s important to meet your academic responsibilities, it’s also okay to speak up when you’re overwhelmed or need clarity.

Examples of healthy academic boundaries:

• Asking for extensions when appropriate: “I’m managing a high workload right now and would really benefit from a short extension. Would it be possible to have an extra 48 hours for this assignment?”

• Clarifying expectations: “Could you help me better understand what you’re looking for in this project?”

• Being firm but respectful: “I can’t take on extra responsibilities for the group project right now, but I’ll focus on completing my assigned part thoroughly.”

You deserve to learn and grow in an environment that supports your mental health, not just your GPA.

Tips for Setting Boundaries Without the Guilt

Even when you know you need to set a boundary, the guilt can sneak in.

Try these mindset shifts:

• You’re not responsible for other people’s feelings. You can be kind and clear, and how they respond is up to them. There is a difference between hurting someone, and harming someone. A new boundary might temporarily hurt someone’s feelings, but a healthy boundary is a good thing for all involved.

• Boundaries = honesty. You’re letting people see the real you and giving them the chance to meet you there.

• Practice helps. Start with small boundaries and work your way up. It gets easier the more you do it. It’s just like a muscle that hasn’t been used before! It might not feel great at first, but you will get stronger and healthier over time!

Note: Boundaries don’t need to come with a TED Talk. Sometimes a simple, “I’m not available for that right now” is all it takes :)

What If Someone Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries?

This can be painful, but it’s important data. If someone regularly pushes past your limits, dismisses your needs, or punishes you for asserting yourself, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.

Respect is a two way street. Boundaries help you figure out who’s truly in your corner. Remember, boundaries are simply letting people how best to love and support you. A true friend can learn to respect that and appreciate your bravery in sharing that.

Therapy Can Help You Build Boundary Confidence

At Ethredge Counseling Group, we support students and young adults who are learning how to speak up for themselves, protect their energy, and prioritize mental health without guilt.

If setting boundaries is new, scary, or triggering old patterns, that’s okay. It takes practice, and support. Our therapists are here to help you build those skills and use your voice with confidence!!

Final Thought: You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to ask for space. You are allowed to protect your time, your energy, and your mental health.

Boundaries are not the end of connection. They are the beginning of healthy connection.

And the more you practice, the more empowered you’ll feel.

We’re cheering you on every step of the way!!

The ADHD Struggle in College: How to Stay Focused When Your Brain Won’t Cooperate, for Students in Charleston South Carolina

College can be challenging for anyone, but for college students in Charleston, SC with ADHD, it often feels like trying to run a marathon with your shoelaces untied! The lectures feel too long, the assignments pile up quickly, and focusing can seem impossible when your brain keeps bouncing between a hundred tabs. At Ethredge Counseling Group, we hear this struggle all the time: "I want to do well, but I just can’t get my brain to cooperate."

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone! You are not lazy. Your brain is not broken. ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) affects executive functioning, making it harder to plan, focus, and follow through. With the right tools, support, and mindset, you can absolutely succeed in college. This guide will give you strategies to manage your ADHD symptoms and build habits that work with your brain, not against it.

Understanding ADHD in the College Setting

ADHD isn’t just about hyperactivity or getting distracted easily. In a college environment, it often shows up as:

• Difficulty concentrating during lectures or long readings

• Procrastination and perfectionism (yep, both can happen at the same time!)

• Trouble organizing your to-do list of tasks, or sticking to a schedule

• Forgetting due dates, losing track of assignments

• Mental fatigue or burnout

When you’re surrounded by deadlines, responsibilities, and social pressures, these symptoms can quickly become overwhelming. But understanding your brain is step one in working with it rather than constantly feeling behind.

1. Work With Your Brain

Building structure helps… a lot! And it doesn’t have to be rigid or boring. A good routine is like scaffolding for the ADHD brain. It keeps your day from collapsing.

Tips That Landrie Uses and Recomends:

• Use a planner (Google Calendar is great, and what Landrie has used for years!) and write down everything: due dates, appointments, even reminders to eat, stretch, and start your bedtime routine!

• Break big projects into bite-sized chunks with mini-deadlines. "Write term paper" is overwhelming; "find 2 sources by Friday" feels doable. Remember, “les Petites Victoires”!

• Set up regular routines for mornings and evenings. Predictability helps reduce decision fatigue.

• Try the Pomodoro Technique: 25 minutes focused work, 5-minute break. It sounds simple, but it can be a total game changer!

2. Make Your Environment ADHD-Friendly

If you’re trying to write an essay while half-watching Netflix, your brain is doing what it’s wired to do: seeking stimulation. Set yourself up for success with an environment that supports focus

Tips that Landrie uses and/or recommends:

• Designate a specific spot for studying (even if it's just one end of your kitchen table).

• Use headphones and listen to white noise or instrumental music.

• Limit visual distractions. Tidy your space before sitting down to work.

3. Time Management Tools That Make a Difference

Time blindness can be a real struggle with ADHD. Minutes feel like seconds, or hours.

Tips Landrie uses and recommends to combat that:

• Use visual timers or countdown apps so you can actually see time passing.

• Set calendar reminders for everything, including class, meals, and transitions.

• Batch similar tasks so your brain doesn’t have to shift gears constantly.

And remember: "getting started" is often the hardest part. Once you start, momentum builds.

4. Lean Into Your Strengths

Your brain might struggle with focus, but it likely excels at creativity, problem-solving, and thinking in “big picture” ways. Use that those superpowers!!

Tips that Landrie has used and/or recommends:

• Make studying fun (apps like Quizlet or using color-coded notes, pens, or markers can help).

• Use your phone for good, like recording voice memos or taking photos of whiteboards or handouts.

• Move while you work. Walk while listening to recorded lectures. Sing and dance while you recite facts from memory. Pace while you brainstorm.

5. Support Your Brain With the Basics

ADHD symptoms may increase when you're running on particularly drained. When expeirencing fatigue or significant symptoms, don’t neglect your body! Tuning into your body’s needs during these times is super important:

Tips Landrie uses and recommends:

• Aim for regular sleep: easier said than done, but even a semi consistent bedtime helps.

• Eat protein with every meal. Blood sugar swings can worsen brain fog and impulsivity.

• Move your body every day! Even a 10-minute walk can improve mood and focus.

You wouldn’t expect your phone to run all day on 5% battery, so don’t expect it from your brain, darlings!

6. Be Kind to Yourself

This part matters. Many students with ADHD carry around a lot of shame. You might think, "Why can everyone else just do this? What’s wrong with me?"

Nothing is wrong with you! Your brain simply works in a slightly different way. Remember, ADHD also comes with it’s own unique superpowers!

Tips Landrie recommends:

• Talk to yourself like a friend. Would you tell a friend they're lazy or broken?

• Celebrate wins, even if they feel small. Got out of bed? Opened your laptop? That counts!!! (Landrie’s personal motto: les Petites Victoires, aka the little victories!!)

• Progress over perfection. Doing something "good enough" is better than burning out trying to do it perfectly.

7. Use the Resources Around You

You don’t have to go it alone:

• Disability services can help with accommodations like extended test time, priority registration, or note taking support.

• Campus counseling offers short term therapy or referrals for longer term support.

• Find community. Look for ADHD support groups on campus or online. It’s powerful to hear, "Me too."

At Ethredge Counseling Group, we love supporting college students. Whether you're figuring out routines, processing burnout, or just need a safe space to vent and strategize, we're here!

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone

If your brain feels like it’s constantly shifting gears without warning, you're not broken. You're navigating college with ADHD, and that takes serious strength.

Yes, it might take more trial and error. Yes, it might look different than what you imagined. But different doesn't mean worse.

With the right tools, strategies, and support, you can absolutely succeed.

If you’re looking for someone to walk alongside you while you figure it all out, our therapists at Ethredge Counseling Group would be honored to help.

You’ve got this. And we’ve got your back!

"I Have No Idea What I'm Doing"—Coping with Post-Grad Anxiety for College Students in Charleston South Carolina

Graduation is meant to be a time of celebration, but for a lot of college grads, it comes with a lot of anxiety! Post-grad anxiety is real, and it can be overwhelming. If you’ve ever a the thought, “I have no idea what I’m doing,” you are not alone! Transitioning out of college life into “the real world” is a huge adjustment. New grads have all sorts of things thrown at them: career, relationsihps, bills, and a whole host of other things!

The good news? You don’t have to figure it out all at once. And you certainly don’t have to figure it out on your own! This guide will help you navigate this difficutl time, reduce your anxiety, and know the practice steps to take so that you don’t feel quite so lost and alone on this journey to adulthood.

Understanding Post-Grad Anxiety

Post-grad anxiety comes from the pressure of have everything figured out immediately after leaving college.

You might experience:

• Fear of the Unknown – Not having a clear career path can be unsettling.

• Comparison Trap – Seeing peers land jobs or travel the world can make you feel behind.

• Financial Stress – Student loans, rent, and bills add new pressures.

• Loss of Structure – College provided a clear routine, while adult life feels unpredictable.

• Social Shifts – Friendships and family relationships change, and making new connections can be difficult.

If any of these resonate with you, take a deep breath. It’s normal to feel this way, and there are ways to navigate this uncertain phase with confidence.

9 Practical Strategies to Manage Post-Grad Anxiety

1. Reframe Your Mindset

Instead of seeing uncertainty as a problem, try viewing it as an opportunity for growth. No one has it all figured out, so people just learn how to take things one baby step at a time. Shift your focus from "I should know exactly what I’m doing" to "I’m exploring my options and that’s okay."

2. Set Small, Actionable Goals

Feeling overwhelmed often comes from looking at the big picture all at once. Break things down into small baby steps. Keep the french phrase “les petites victoires” (ie little victories) in mind!

• Career Goals: Apply to three jobs a week, update your resume, or reach out to a mentor.

• Financial Goals: Create a simple budget, list your expenses, and set up an emergency fund.

• Personal Goals: Move your body daily, prioritize consistent sleep, and find small moments of joy in your day.

3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Social media can make it seem like everyone else is thriving while you’re struggling. Remember, people only post their highlight reels, not their behind-the-scenes struggles. Everyone’s journey is unique, no matter what it may look like, and there’s no set timeline. Growth is a process!

4. Build a Support System

You don’t have to go through this alone. Stay connected with friends, join networking groups, or seek mentorship from professionals in your field (this one is big!!). If anxiety is overwhelming, consider talking to a therapist who specializes in young adult transitions.

5. Gain Experience Through Small Steps

If you don’t have a full-time dream job yet, don’t panic. Internships, freelance work, volunteering, and part-time jobs can all help you gain experience while you figure out your next move. The perfect job won’t come overnight, but taking small steps in the right direction will get you there. Remember, “les petites victoires”!!

6. Take Care of Your Mental and Physical Health

Your well-being is just as important as your career (maybe more important?).

Prioritize:

• Sleep – A consistent sleep schedule improves mental clarity and reduces anxiety.

• Exercise – Movement helps relieve stress and boosts mood.

• Nutrition – A balanced diet fuels both your body and your mind.

• Mindfulness Practices – Try meditation, journaling, or deep breathing exercises to manage stress.

7. Create a Flexible Plan

It’s okay if you don’t have a five year plan, but setting short term goals can help you feel more in control.

Try asking yourself:

• What are three things I want to accomplish in the next six months?

• What skills do I want to develop?

• How can I expand my network?

8. Embrace the Uncertainty

Life after college is unpredictable, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Many people change careers multiple times throughout life, and the "right path" often isn’t clear from the start. Instead of fearing the unknown, embrace it as part of your journey of growth, exploration, and adventure. Every experience, even setbacks, teaches you something valuable.

9. Seek Professional Help if Needed

If your anxiety feels overwhelming, don’t hesitate to get a therapist or counselor. Therapy, career counseling, and mental health resources can provide guidance and coping strategies tailored to your situation.

You’re Not Alone!

Post-grad anxiety is a common experience, but it doesn’t have to control you. It’s okay not to have everything figured out immediately - that is very normal! Focus on taking small, intentional steps toward your goals, be kind to yourself, and remember that uncertainty is just part of the process in life. With time, effort, and patience, you’ll find your path, one step at a time.

What Next?

If you found this guide useful, please share it with your friends and family who may be feeling the same way. Remmber, you are not alone on this jounrey, and everything you are feeling is normal for this huge life tranisiont! Keep moving forward, take care of yourself, find support, and trust that clarity will come!